| A Little Help from Your Friends (25) | Complete the Multiplayer game. |
| All Hail The Splode King (25) | Complete the Single player mode in Hardcore mode. |
| Eventual Destruction of a Galaxy (10) | Be on the lookout for an old friend. |
| Get Over Yourselves (10) | Select "Credits" from the "Help & Options" menu and watch the whole thing. |
| Get Them Out of Our Schools (10) | Eliminate 10 Scientists and stop them from spreading their filthy lies. |
| Lay Off the Caffeine (10) | Splode 300 times in one stage. |
| Master of Controls (10) | Attempt to edit your controls in the options menu. |
| Not a Portal Reference (25) | Collect all 47 cakes in Single player mode. |
| Omaha Steaks?, Delicious! (15) | Create 5,000 filets. |
| Only Gandhi Would Be Proud (10) | Finish a stage without killing any scientists. |
| Sugar High (25) | Collect all 47 cakes in Multiplayer mode. |
| You're the Best Around! (25) | Complete the Single Player game. |
